Dear WaMu

It was so good to hear from you. We know you've been pretty distracted, what with going bankrupt and being swallowed up by JPMorgan Chase and all--and yet you found time to send us an invitation to use some special checks to max out our new $6K line of credit. Please don't get me wrong: we appreciate your thinking of us in such a difficult time. It's just that, you see, we finally got completely out of debt. Yep, we don't owe you or anyone else a dime! (It's exhilarating!) I wish you could celebrate with us; I'm sure you would if you weren't so awfully preoccupied. I suppose you miss us. Truth is, WaMu: we don't miss you, and we'll be passing on that generous offer. Have fun with your new overlords owners.

Regards,
Sharon