The Sumner Bucket List

My version of that cheesy "check off all the stuff you've done in your life" list that's making the Facebook rounds. Thanks to my many siblings for making these memories possible. Y'all know who you are.

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The Sumner Bucket List

This is a takeoff on the original that's going around Facebook. To preserve privacy and sanity, I'm not asking anyone to actually check anything off.

For you younger whippersnappers, this version is mainly applicable to your parents, aunts, and uncles. It is here for your edification and inspiration. I'd love to see your own parodies.
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Things you have done during your lifetime:

() Been a blind date
() Got kicked out of school
() Watched someone cook a woodland animal
() Been to an outhouse
() Been to the county seat
() Fed 12 people with 3 lbs. of macaroni and part of a jar of Cheez-Whiz
() Saw Hawaii Five-O in black and white
() Made an airplane out of an oatmeal box
() Thought a helicopter was a giant-ass mosquito
() Been lost...in a Kroger's
() Remember seeing MLK Jr.'s speech in Washington, DC.
() Spent the summer diving into a bathtub
() Cried yourself to sleep...in a bed with at least two other kids
() Played cops and robbers...only you were the object being stolen
() Ate crayons. Extra points for also melting them on the side of an oil heater in December.
() Sang every song to six Broadway plays, in four-part harmony, with your siblings for fun, in your underwear. Extra points if it was your brother's underwear.
() First time you went to a restaurant for anything other than a Dairy Queen was after you left home
() Been to the top of Dog Holler
() Done something you told yourself you wouldn't...like eating a live insect
() Made prank phone calls...on a neighbor's phone
() Walked into town to get the mail
() Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of someone else's nose
() Saw a ten year-old boy pee on the snow
() Danced in the rain...in lieu of taking a shower
() Written a letter to Santa Claus...and had it returned
() Been kissed by a mine pony
() Watched the sunrise with someone...after being out all night "borrowing" bicycles
() Blown bubbles with Ivory soap and a wooden spool
() Gone ice-skating...in the kitchen
() Been banned from a movie theater
() Been crawdab fishing
() Driven across three states with eight people in a Ford
() Rode in the open trunk of a car
() Played Tarzan on a grapevine
() Collected kindling wood in the snow
() Lived in more than one country...without ever leaving home
() Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to people inside playing Whist
() Seen a bug zapper and made a wish
() Enjoyed the beauty of light playing through Pabst Blue Ribbon bottles
() Seen the Statue of Liberty...made out of dirty clothes
() Stepped on a needle in the bathroom
() Seen corn growing in a crack under the kitchen table
() Traveled by train...without paying
() Traveled to Hill Top before there was a paved road there
() Regularly used the word "foofie" in everyday language
() Been dog riding
() Heard your mother talk about riding on a San Francisco CABLE CAR
() Seen a Disney movie on TV...in black and white
() Been in a rain forest...behind your house
() Seen pig guts in a washtub
() Been to beautiful downtown Minden
() Driven through Fayetteville in the fall
() Thrown a household pet out a window at a Peeping Tom
() Swam with catfish
() Eaten a Foot-Long with an orange Ne-Hi and a chocolate Jumbo pie
() Been to the marble championships
() Walked on a railroad trestle
() Seen your grandfather's cowlick getting licked by a cow
() Been fishing with your father, using almond-scented hamburger balls
() Played Snake Tag at 10:30 pm
() Caught lightning bugs in a jelly jar...with jelly still in it
() Got picked up by a church bus
() Dressed for a special occasion from a donation box
() Waded in the New River
() Got tired of hearing "Y'all have enough kids for a baseball team!"
() Slit open your brother's football to see what was inside
() Been skinny dipping... in a cold creek...fifty yards from a baptism
() Wanted to punk slap the Brady Bunch