Disguised

I've never been one of those rather creepy religious people who go around claiming that God speaks to them all the time. I figure if the Almighty, the Creator of the Universe really did decide to talk to me, I'd be too dumbstruck to casually blat 'n' chat about it. He knows that, too, so very mercifully doesn't send me voices, inner or otherwise. Once in a great while, though, something will come into my mind that I think of as a little text message from Heaven. It's never wordy and is not accompanied by flowery language and technicolor 3-D angelic visions. It's just a little impression dropped down deep that stays with me.

Many years ago I received one of these. I had just been through a very painful experience with some Christian people who had clearly wronged me, but adamantly refused to admit it, let alone ask forgiveness. In fact, they stubbornly insisted that they were right. Soothing my wounds, I retreated and pondered how these things could be. Truth is, I was having quite the little pity party, complete with funny hats, balloons, and noisemakers.

Then the "text message" came. (Okay, it was way before texting; I called it a telegram in those days--underscoring my age.) Here's what I "read": "Would you still be willing to be a blessing to people, even if they don't recognize it?"

That shut the party down.

I really had to think about it. Would I be? It's one thing to be the person whom everyone loves and appreciates as a gift in their lives. The sunshine! The sweetness! It's quite another to be the undercover blessing bearer. It means the recipient of the blessing doesn't always see it as such until much later, and after pain is involved--if indeed they ever do.

I'm not talking here about all the times I totally blunder, elephant-like but all too humanly, and say or do something stupid for which I need forgiveness--and there have been plenty of those. I mean the occasions when I had to do something that was most unpleasant at the time, but was an instrument of growth or help for someone else. It's always humiliating, and it always hurts. But God isn't so interested in our happiness as He is in our holiness, and He's working in these situations as much for my benefit as for anyone else's.

A few times over the years I've had the joy of the person contacting me later to thank me. These have been rare, but are such treasures! And I myself have been the "recipient" at times, too--the one who finally sees that what I thought was meant to hurt me was sent to lift me above myself. That gem is no less valuable.

Sometimes I was that blessing without ever knowing it--as others have been for me.

Today I am grateful...I am loved, I am truly blessed. I am a blessing, and so are you--whether or not we see it right now. Together and with large doses of grace and mercy, we'll get through this thing called life.